I would like to mention
a survey that we carried out (during the end of 2013).
We attended an event for families where almost 100% of the people were of Asian origin, mainly from Bangladesh.
We asked their opinions
on what they thought are the most common issues that adversely affect a
marriage and what the solution might be.
We got a variety of responses i.e. from communication problem, lack of patience and understanding, to family interference and lack of respect.
Almost all participants cited a lack of tolerance, mutual respect, and patience as well as poor understanding of religion as the cause of these issues.
It seems as though couples have lost sight of the harmony that was created in the beginning of their marriages and are not willing to back down if they feel they have been wronged and it seems to be a blame game.
Evident was the fact that neither husband nor wife is willing to overlook their own shortcomings, and are quick to point the finger at the other.
It was found that couples forgot about the reasons why they got married in the first place and this applied to arrange and non arranged marriages.
The basic fundamentals of a successful marriage such as mutual respect, understanding, honesty, and feelings of care and love seem to disappear very quickly when faced with a challenge.
Many couples are reluctant to admit to family members that there is a problem in their marriage.
And if family members DO get involved, they are often accused of being biased and this is understandable.
Also couples may not be able to fully express themselves in front of family members.
Therefore the Work we are
involved in allows couples to open up fully in a regulated environment and free
from bias and judgement.
Umm Ubayd
(Islamic Marriage solutions)
